I arranged to meet a friend at the pie and mash shop near Welling Corner at his suggestion. While I waited for him to turn up, I looked in a few places nearby. The cinema that became a bingo hall that become a church, the caribbean food store complete with every kind of powdered fish, the store that offers to cut foam for you. Foam sounds like the easiest thing to cut in the universe except perhaps fresh air.
The pie and mash shop was easy to identify as it was called 'Pie & Mash Shop'. Things got a little trickier when we went to the counter to order. We both had more questions than we cared to admit, living most of our lives in South East London had not prepared us for this. Everyone else ordering 'one and one' like it was totally obvious didn't help. What sort of pies were they? 'Meat' perhaps? What is magic about the vinegar that makes it cost 80 pence?
I went conservative with 2 pies and mash, which I think must be 'two and one'. I did play the liquor card though, which I felt was quite brave as I had little idea what liquor was. And some beans. My friend went for plain old gravy, but with spotted dick for dessert. Good call, though the other deserts like cranberry or strawberry pudding sounded to be worth trying.
So no jellied eels for either of us. Nor mashed eels. Whoever knew that people mashed eels?
I waited two minutes for my food to come because baked beans are the only thing that was not immediately available, I watched my friend start to eat his. It looked sizeable and inviting, like a friendly eel prior to it's being jellied, perhaps. I also used this time to try to work out what the other diners were eating.
The first thing I wanted to try was the liquor, and it was thankfully fine, seeing that there was a pint of it over my lunch. Like gravy with parsley in it, but better than it sounds. Turns out that is more or less what liquor is; it was nice enough that I didn't regret it. The pies were not all that good. Far better than what you get in the average chip shop still in the packet, but thin and collapsed. They didn't taste bad though. The mash was creamy and plentiful. The baked beans met all the requirements I have of baked beans. With the two pies it came to just over a fiver, which wasn't bad seeing as I was totally stuffed for about six hours.
The spotted dick took a long time coming. Yes, you heard that right. I remember my friend whinging about this but thanks to all of my blood having been diverted to my stomach and the subsequent very partial consciousness, I have no idea whether it was to be recommended. It may never have actually arrived.
By the tills were signs offering to deliver to cockney parties, which sound like great fun. I imagine people slapping each other around with eels and eating huge pickled eggs whole. And delivery is free for parties at old peoples' homes.
I recommend this place for a cheap and tasty meal. The pies could have been better but the food overall was good and service friendly.
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